Heat-Mavs Game 1 Diary

7:10: Listening to Simmons' mega podcast. Ric Bucher changing his story regarding his appearance on LeBatard's show. Says he won't call LeBron better than Rose based on 1 series. Ric is apparently content to ignore the fact that Rose's numbers against Indiana and Atlanta were equally putrid, which LeBatard and Stugotz pointed out to him.

7:15: Stein notes that Dirk only shot 3 free throws in game 3 back in 2006. Rob notes that he was much more of a jump-shooter and rarely attacked the hoop back then.

7:33: Simmons calls out Miami fans for attributing Wade's poor showing in ECF to injury b/c injuries are bound to happen. Miami fans should know better. Only Boston homers are allowed to blame losses on injuries, a privilege Simmons took advantage of with his "I would've liked to see Miami play against a healthy Rondo" argument. Hey Bill, 180-lb point guards get hurt. You can't use it as an excuse.

7:35: Bucher making a strong push towards objectivity (still fibbed about his Rose > LeBron argument, though)! He even predicts Heat in 5! What is going on?

7:37: Simmons: Dallas is going to make Miami work harder on defense than Chicago did.
Rob: Miami is going to make Dallas work harder to get shots than OKC did.

7:40: Hollinger batting in the 3-hole. Says it'll be tough for Dallas to keep Terry out of foul trouble. Not sure he got the memo that we're only supposed to be harping on Heat weaknesses and minimizing their strengths.

7:44: DDL blogger Ethan Sherwood Strauss: I'd be more inclined to pick Dallas if they were better than Miami

7:48: Simmons' heart picks Dallas in 6. His head likes LeBron to win Finals MVP.

7:51: Hollinger takes Heat in 6. Simmons disappointed.

7:54: Here comes Chad Millman, gambling extraordinaire. He's also a great author.

7:56: Millman says if a legit NBA arena gets built there, Vegas will get a team. My vote? Memphis. The idea of designated driver Shane Battier pulling up to the front of the MGM while a drunken OJ Mayo and Tony Allen throw wild haymakers, separated only by an again-obese Zach Randolph (who, fresh off his 4-year extension, just left the buffet) is too tempting.

8:15: Simmons takes another opportunity to minimize Miami's defense, crediting it to the crappy offenses of Philly, Boston (again whining about Rondo's injury), and Chicago. I don't want to be "the guy who's actually played basketball before", but usually when a team's offense looks crappy, it's because the opposing team's defense is playing well.

8:18: Simmons: Barea is gonna go nuts this series. Rob: No he won't, he's not going against Derek Fisher

8:25: Yet another Rondo complaint. Because Boston showed in the 1st 2 games of that series that with Rondo, they were a contender. Oh, what's that? They lost both healthy-Rondo games by double digits?

8:29: Another Rondo complaint.To recap: Miami fans, don't even think about mentioning Wade's shoulder injury because injuries are inevitable. Unless they happen to a Celtic, at which point it's okay to whine about it as if it would've changed the outcome of the series. We get it, he got hurt and Boston lost. The 1 game they won was because Delonte West, who outplayed him the entire series, took over for him and the Heat weren't able to play 5-on-4 anymore.

8:31: Simmons: There was no skill involved in Wade's 4-point play in game 5 against Chicago. That was all luck.
        House: Wade and LeBron get lucky a lot, then.

9:08: Heat win the tip. Here we go...

9:18: LeBron with the And-1 to make it 10-5. Both teams sloppy, but Dallas looks hesitant. Hollinger mentioned that Dallas' starting lineup had a negative +/- in the playoffs. Something to watch.

9:22: Mike Bibby might've just played his last minutes of this series. He was THAT bad.

9:29: Annoying Budweiser commercial with the soldier coming home and his over-bearing brother. Someone tell Budweiser that nobody under the age of 35 drinks that crap.

9:34: Bill Kennedy introduces himself to this series with an awful call made 5 seconds after the contact occurred. If I was Bill Simmons or Mark Cuban, now is when I would plant the seed for blaming a potential Heat loss on the officiating and concoct a conspiracy theory accordingly.

9:48: 22-22. Not much happening.

9:54: "Cowboys & Aliens" preview. It looks every bit as bad as its title suggests.

9:56: Mike Breen suggests that if not for "The Decision" and the Heat's celebration party, everyone would love the Heat. More likely that they would just find another reason to hate them. Let's look at the logic of this Heat hate for a second. America hates the Heat because LeBron raised 2.5 mil for a Boys & Girls Club and the team had a party to celebrate the biggest offseason coup in sports history. After leaving, James's former owner sounded like a jilted slave owner when he slammed James in the press. Does that sound like someone LeBron should've been eager to commit himself to for the next 6 years? Meanwhile, the "good guy" Mavs feature a point guard who pled guilty to assaulting his ex-wife. The lesson: it's far better to hit a woman than play for a different basketball team. Strange society we live in.

10:08: Mario Chalmers in the role of "unexpected contributor", previously played by Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem.

10:14: Dallas up 1 at the half. Rich people in the lower bowl treating this game like a mid-January contest against the Bobcats. At this point, I'd settle for bandwagon fans. At least they act like they like the team.

10:34: Bibby clangs a wide-open 3 and Dallas opens the half on a 7-0 run. Well, perhaps THOSE were Bibby's last minutes of the series. Again, he was that bad. At this point, Damon Jones would be an upgrade.

10:37: Spo leaving him in. I'm typeless.

10:40: Bosh aggressively attacking the basket. He's been the Heat's best player thus far. On cue, he misses the 1st free throw. 53-48 Mavs, 8 minutes to go in the 3rd.

10:42: Lebron splash. 53-51

10:43: Rim-1 Haywood-0

10:47: Hey ABC, zoom in a little closer on Haywood's monstrous nostrils. Have to wonder what kind of boogers he wakes up with in the morning.

10:50: Haslem looks like a guy who didn't play until mid-May. Heat probably don't mind being down 2, considering how poorly they've played.

10:53: Dirk to the bench with 3 to go in the 3rd. Heat need to make a run here. Dallas helping out with consecutive unforced turnovers. Tied at 57.

10:54: Mike Miller the latest Heater to get dunked on. Chandler gets an 8 for the dunk, with .5 subtracted for his self-aggrandizing "Oh shit!" that followed it, for a total of 7.5.

10:58: Juwan Howard giving the Heat solid minutes off the bench. Seriously. Heat up 62-59.

11:00: LeBron with the fadeaway 3 at the buzzer. All net. Somewhere in LA, Simmons is gritting his teeth and whining about how bad of a shot that was. Bucher telling anyone who will listen (the number is down to 6) that Rose would've hit it AND gotten fouled. Heat up 65-61 after 3.

11:04: Rick Carlisle complaining about a fan waving a flag behind the basket. For Heat fans, when it comes to cheering for your team, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Hey Rick, shut up.

11:09: Haslem with a big jumper. Mavs offense is sluggish when Terry isn't getting shots.70-66 Heat, 8:43 to go.

11:14: Someone tell Deshawn Stevenson that he's being left wide open because he's the worst player on the floor, and that he looks like a moron holding up 3 fingers after each shot (2, so far) he makes. Those ridiculous tattoos don't help, either. While we're talking about Stevenson, check out who he's compared to on his NBA Draft profile...

11:18-11:23: Absolutely nothing

11:24: Tyson Chandler is 7"0 280 lbs. And he flops. Heat lead 75-70 with 4:35 to go.

11:32: D-Wade with a block followed by a 3. For my money, the best clutch player in the game. Dallas needs a bucket here. Heat up 82-73 with 3:06 left.

11:35: LeBron with a ferocious And-1 dunk. Grown-man move. 85-77 Heat with 1:43 to go. If Dallas was still playing OKC, they'd probably feel pretty good about being down 8 late in the 4th.

11:40: Jason Terry didn't know you couldn't clothesline a guy when he goes to set a pick. Chalmers with 2 big free throws. Wade rebounds the Kidd miss and proceeds to eviscerate the entire Dallas D for a Bosh 2-handed stuffah! In the business, we call that the dagger. 89-79 Heat, 1:08 remaining.

11:43 Wade to James for the "F-you" alley oop. Chandler answers with an incredibly important dunk to pull within 10 with 30 seconds to play. He even pulls himself up on the rim and slaps the backboard to let everyone know how great it was.

11:46: That's all. Heat take Game 1 92-84. Smart move by the Heat to remove the stationary bikes from the entrance to the Mavs locker room. Dirk's got a thing for blaming those when he chokes at the end of a big game. Meanwhile, Dade County police have put out an APB on Jason Terry. He was last seen midway through the 2nd quarter at the American Airlines Arena. If you see him, inform him that his NBA trophy tattoo is lame and the Mavs are looking for him.

First is the Worst

       As you will find out shortly (i.e. during this sentence), I don't really know how to write very well. I wish I did. Maybe I will someday. For now, I'm content to get this first post out of the way. For the foreseeable future, this blog will be my personal experiment in sports journalism. I'm pretty sure that is the industry I want to spend my career in, and everyone in the business says that the first thing an aspiring journalist must do is write. So, here I go. Most of the entries will be Braves, Marlins, Heat, and Dolphins related (with some old-school wrestling sprinkled in). If they seem boring at first, they probably are. My hope is that I'll improve with time, maybe even to the point that I don't feel obliged to keep reminding you that, as a writer, I suck. But that's a long ways off. So, for now, just bear with me until I become rich and famous and forget all about you.
                                        - Rob